September 18, 2016 is a big bookish day for me – I met Morgan Matson in the morning, and it was my first time to go to the Manila International Book Fair, where I attended #AllTheFeels and met some bookish friends from Pinoy Book Freaks United.
I’ll be writing a separate post for my MIBF experience, but you can check out this Twitter thread for a glimpse of my #MIBF2016 story. š
You can also check out my #MorganMatsoninPH Twitter thread! It’s a recap of some sort. š
Two years ago, I went to a book signing event for the first time. #VTRinPH will forever be in my heart. That was last April 26, 2014.
Today is July 3, 2016. Two years, two months, and a week after the first signing. You probably have an idea of how excited I was.
I got invited to the Bloggers’ Forum for #VTRinPH as a representative of Under the Never Sky Philippines (now Veronica Rossi Philippines), but this time, I got invited as a book bloggerĀ and IĀ am so grateful for this opportunity.
This post is supposed to be a rant post, where I’ll let it all out, and release the heavy feeling in my chest. But I think it will turn into something different later. I wrote this post for about four hours, because I really want to get it out there–I’ve been a bad (well, maybe not bad, more like not-so-good) blogger and I don’t want to be like that anymore.
During the past few months, I felt so messed up, and I didn’t know what to do, so I asked two trusted bookish friends for help.
I told them everything.
It wasn’t easy, I was afraid they won’t understand and I’ll lose two of my treasured friends in the bookish community. There was even a point when I felt they’re mad at me. But after thinking about everything that they’ve said, I’d like to believe they’re not mad. Instead, they’re concerned. They just appeared mad at first because what they said opened my eyes to the truth. They were straightforward, but you know what they say about the truth: it hurts, but it will set you free.
It did.
And even if I still feel a little wall between me and my two friends (maybe I’m just assuming stuff, but maybe the wall is real), I’m okay. If the wall is real, I understand. I might have hurt their feelings because some of the things I mentioned involved their friends. I was afraid of that, too. But it already happened, and what I can do now is give them space and show them who I’ve become because of their help. I want to make them proud. They turned anĀ insecure-envious-selfish (ish)blogger into a friendly person who’s content with what she has and who embraces the bookish community as a whole.
ThisĀ Humans of New YorkĀ postĀ sparked the change within me, and for that, I am truly grateful.
And if the little wall is not real, thank God I’m just paranoid. Because I would really, REALLY love to hug my two friends when I see them. TheĀ I-haven’t-seen-you-for-a-yearĀ super tight hug.
You might be wondering, what was my problem?
Actually, they wereĀ problems.
Bibliophile Soprano 