Infinite Risk by Ann Aguirre


infinite-riskInfinite Risk by Ann Aguirre

Publication Date: August 2, 2016 by Feiwel and Friends

Genre: Young Adult Paranormal

[Special thanks to the publisher for the review copy!]

Goodreads Summary:

In a world of infinite risk, the stakes have never been so high.

Beyond the pull of life and death lies the immortal game. Edie Kramer has leaped back to put things right and save the boy she loves. Alone in the wrong timestream, she must reinvent herself and square off against dangerous creatures determined to win this mortal match once and for all.

But righting past wrongs carries fresh dangers. As she navigates a new school and tries to put Kian on a different path, she also battles powerful enemies who will stop at nothing to keep her from derailing their deadly schemes. With few allies and her first love treating her like a stranger, Edie faces the most dangerous enemy of all―time itself. Yet she’s come a long way from that dark night on the bridge, and when her back’s to the wall, she’ll go down fighting…


My thoughts:

If you’re reading this, I’m assuming you have read both Mortal Danger and Public Enemies.

If you just stumbled upon this review and you’re curious with this book, Infinite Risk is the conclusion of the Immortal Game trilogy. You can read my review for Mortal Danger (Book 1) and Public Enemies (Book 2) to know more about the series.

Now, to my review.

While trying to compose my thoughts, I’m listening to this version of Everytime We Touch. It’s a slow, piano version that I really love. I believe it’s usually sung in weddings. If I had more time, I would have sung the song as the second bookish song for this book.

Yes, there is a bookish song for this book. I had to sing something because of TOO MUCH FEELINGS.

I FEEL LIKE I’M GOING TO CRY AGAIN.

OKAY.

Infinite Risk starts with Edie on Kian’s school. She had to get in as a sophomore student, under the name Chelsea Brooks. Edie is 18 pretending to be 16, and when she finally met Kian (who was 14 at that time), my heart tightened.

I missed you, Kian. I missed you so much.

I have been waiting to read Infinite Risk right after finishing Public Enemies last August 2015, and now that I finally have the book, all I wanted is to see Edie and Kian getting back together.

Except that Kian can’t fall in love with Edie on this timeline. (Let’s call this the summer timeline to avoid confusion.)

Edie’s reasoning made sense – she didn’t belong in the summer timeline, once she needed to leave, she would break Kian’s heart if he fell in love with her. That heartbreak could put her efforts to waste. All she needed to do is be Kian’s best friend – someone who would influence him to socialize with people and step out of his shell. Her mission is to drive him away from extremis, to prevent history from repeating itself.

It was so hard for me to read as I watch Edie suffer from holding back with Kian. I felt how much she wanted to hug him, to kiss him, to tell him how much she loved him and how much she wanted to be with him. Her heart breaks every time she tried to help Kian make a move on the girl he liked at that time.

Edie needed to boost Kian’s confidence, and by taking him on adventures, she did.

This was the best day of my life.

Kian said this after their first adventure at Psychedelic Records and Madame Q’s House of Style.

I said that once too. Because of him.

Edie was referring to what happened in The Girl in the Gray Sweatshirt – a short story in Kian’s POV, set before the events in Mortal Danger. I couldn’t find the original link, but I found a copy here. It makes me cry almost every time I read it.

When you’re around, I feel like anything is possible.

Mortal Danger and Public Enemies revolved around Kian wanting to save Edie. And save her, he did. So in the last book, it’s Edie’s turn. It was both uplifting and heartbreaking to see how Edie helped Kian. It was really a matter of sacrificing your happiness for the sake of the one you love.

I hurt for Edie and for everything she had to give up to save Kian. Whenever I think of what they’ve been through since book one, I feel like crying and screaming because they deserved more time.

SO MUCH MORE.

It’s taking me so long to type words for this review because from time to time, I hold back the tears. But maybe I won’t be able to hold them for so long. Because I was just at the first quarter.

A character I’ve learned to love

In Mortal Danger, he was a villain to me.

In Public Enemies, more was revealed about him, and I didn’t hate him anymore.

Come Infinite Risk, I love him already.

They will pay for this. I shall strip flesh from bone and grind even that down to dust. For you, I will burn this place until its shadow can never form again.

It’s obviously not Kian, since 1) I fell in love with Kian right from the start, and 2) Kian wouldn’t say something like that, even for Edie. Plus, he was never a villain.

The Harbinger changed for Edie and I love him for that. I have to admit I swooned over him, too. He had scenes with Edie that were so romantic I almost rooted for him, but my heart belongs to Kian. It will always, always be Edie and Kian for me.

What…how? When did I start feeling safe with you?

This was one of Edie’s internal thoughts after one incident in which the Harbinger came to her rescue. He became Edie’s constant friend and savior in Infinite Risk.

Below is a short exchange between them:

“I haven’t played in a hundred years, but for you, I broke an old promise.”

“Excuse me?”

“When Saoirse died, I swore I wouldn’t make music without her. I wanted you to know how important you’ve become to me.”

I MEAN

WHO WOULDN’T

SWOON OVER THAT

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I’m still #TeamKian, but I wanted to be fair to the Harbinger. I can truly say he’s worth talking about and swooning over. In fact, I have thought of a song for him and Edie. As ironic as the song would be, it still captured the way he treated Edie in this book.

I actually thought of them as Edward and Bella in the Twilight Saga, except that Edward never antagonized Bella in any way. He never appeared evil. I just saw some similarities, because it was the kind that says, “the lion fell in love with the lamb.”

Giving more details would spoil you, so I’ll leave the experience up to you. If you’re holding back on reading this book, read it now. 🙂

Tears stung my eyes, and I blinked them away. Who knew it would feel so awful to give the blessing for your first love to be happy with someone else?

This is one of the most heartbreaking quotes in this book – it spoke to me on a level I can’t even articulate.

When the Harbinger told Edie the cruelest truth that ever came from him, I had to pause. I had to process it.

WHAT? NO. THAT CAN’T BE. I CAN’T ACCEPT THAT.

Edie had to do something she never intended to do. She didn’t travel to the summer timeline for things to end up the way they did, but when she accepted her fate, it dawned on me that I did something very similar.

This is why Infinite Risk had a tight grip on my heart. This is why the book affected me so much. I saw so much of myself in Edie and that’s why I cried for her. When a book makes that kind of connection with you, it becomes so special you feel like you’re living in its world. The characters become real to you because you see people in them. People you know in what they call the real life.

You thought nobody could ever love you, but I did. I loved you as you were in our world, perfect and tormented at twenty, and I loved you as you are at fifteen, awkward and unsure.

As I type that quote, everything Kian did for Edie from Mortal Danger until his last breath at Public Enemies go through my mind. I have never loved a book boyfriend as much as I loved Kian Riley.

Infinite Risk is Edie fighting for Kian. It wasn’t what I expected, and the ending wasn’t what I would have wanted, but it was the conclusion I didn’t know I needed.

You let go, and you find love again.


Bookish Song for Infinite Risk

I chose Moira Dela Torre’s Malaya as the bookish song for Infinite Risk because it represented how I felt while reading the book.

It’s a Filipino song, and the direct translation of the title is “Free” – and it’s about letting someone go. Setting them free.

Below is an excerpt of the song lyrics:

Isusuko na ang sandata
Aatras na sa laban
‘Di dahil naduduwag
Kundi dahil mahal kita

Mahirap nang labanan
Mga espada ng orasan
Kung pipilitin pa
Lalo lang masasaktan

And here’s my best attempt in translating:

I’m giving my weapons up
I’m pulling back from this fight
Not because I’m scared
But because I love you

It’s tough to go against
The swords of time
Trying to force it
Would hurt us more

Feels Review

Yes, I also have a feels review for Infinite Risk.

I have to warn you, though. It’s more of a crying review.


Final Rating: ∞

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