Publication Date: February 10, 2015 by HarperCollins/Balzer + Bray
Genre: Young Adult Contemporary
[Special thanks to HarperCollins/Balzer + Bray and Edelweiss for the review copy!]
Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.
There’s only one problem: she’s not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel’s convinced she’s found her solution: a teen boy with the username FrozenRobot (aka Roman) who’s haunted by a family tragedy is looking for a partner.
Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other’s broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together. Except that Roman may not be so easy to convince.
Suicide is common, suicide partners is not.
I have never read a book where the characters wanted to be suicide partners. Before I read this book, the line, “I want you to be the one I’ll die with,” meant living with the person for a long time and dying with the person because of old age. But now, that line meant something scary.
Dying scares me, because it’s something that I know nothing of, and Aysel is curious about this, too. Because of this book, I viewed a lot of things in a different way and realized that the world is more cruel than we think, but there are more reasons to live than we think, too. I saw the world on a bigger scale, and understood it more.
Unique idea, check! Let’s move to the other stuff.
Smooth reading, at least for the first 50%…and after that? *takes a deep breath*
I just read, and enjoyed what I was reading. I didn’t even notice that I was already done with the first and second quarter. The chapters flowed smoothly, and even if I had some questions in mind, I still didn’t have any difficulty in reading. But the third and fourth quarter changed the way I felt towards the story. The last few paragraphs of the third quarter hugged my heart tight. I couldn’t stop reading because my heart was beating fast, waiting for what would happen next.
The swoon factor is on.
The first time they met, I shipped them already. Aysel + Roman = ❤ and I couldn’t bear thinking of them dying. I had hope in my heart that they wouldn’t die, but their fate was in Jasmine’s hands, not mine.
There were swoony scenes that brought more Romsel feels and AAAAH!!! They just can’t die.
Questions, then the big question.
What were Aysel’s and Roman’s exact reasons for wanting to die? What exactly happened to them? Then, who dies in the end?
The last question is always the biggest one when it comes to books with death (and/or dying) as a theme. Of course, I can’t spoil anything, but I think I can say that the ending is worth the wait.
My Heart and Other Black Holes is the book for those who know how it feels like to be alone in a room full of people. This is the book for those going through hard and dark times. This is for those who can’t find hope in their hearts anymore. Sometimes it takes another person to see how strong we really are. Jasmine Warga wrote a beautiful story about two people who found hope in one another. After reading the book, I totally felt like she just hugged me. I found myself in this book. Because once in my life, I felt like giving up on my fight to be happy. Once in my life, I felt like I just want to exist for the sake of not dying. (Because I don’t really want to die, I’m dead scared of it.)
In short, I got sucked up by a black hole of sadness. But believe me when I say this: books helped a lot in saving me from that black hole. Whenever I find myself in a book, that book helps in making me want to fight again. And now, here I am, fighting. Every book that I find myself in makes me stronger than before, and I will always be grateful for the stories that made their marks on my life.
This book is one of those. ❤
Initial Rating: 4.875
Final Rating: 6.75/5
Love can survive even in the blackest of black holes.